Helping your child deal with bullying- Child Sense

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In an article discussing Precilia J Dunstan about Helping your child deal with bullying. Mentioned in the theme of his writings about the child sense. Meanwhile, Priscilla J. Dunstan is a child and parenting behavior expert and consultant and the author of "Child Sense." Learn more about Priscilla and her parenting discoveries at www.childsense.com.

Handling bullying at school seems to be an inevitable lesson for children to learn. Unfortunately, children are often too young to understand how to handle such conflicts, and can feel belittled and abandoned. Keep an eye out for signs your child is struggling with bullying, taking cues from your child's dominant sense.

Tactile children will physically seem to melt. They will be less inclined to be social and will seem to become physically clingy. They may resist sleeping on their own and huddle up close to their family rather than being their usual larger-than-life selves. When talking to them about the situation, make sure you have created a physically safe place from which to do so, such as a cuddle on the couch, or during story time in bed. Pay careful attention to what you're told, realizing that it will be the physical type of bullying that will affect them most. For example, children taking their bag and kicking it around, blocking a pathway, picking last on team sports - these all will be acts that cause the most damage.

Visual children will become more controlling of their things and the visual aspects of their space. They will be pickier about what they wear and how things are worn, who drops them to school, what their sandwich looks like; basically how things look, especially to others. This can be very frustrating for parents who feel their visual child is becoming too controlling and spoiled, and may try to rectify the situation by being tough. This is often the worst approach, as a visual child will be most concerned with theirs and others' looks when they are most insecure. They will feel deeply any nasty comment about their appearance, or not fitting in, so it's best to assure them they are perfect they way they are, and be understanding of their needs.

Auditory children tend to come home bursting with conversation, so when your auditory child stops talking you may need to find out why. They are very logical beings, so when events happen that are illogical and don't make sense, they will become almost obsessive with trying to work out why. They will try to do this privately, even though they often need conversation to sort out their thoughts. Start the conversation by talking about your own experience with bullying, remembering to use auditory cues such as name calling, verbal isolation or "like me one day, hate me the next" type of bullying. Tone, as well as intention, matter to an auditory child, so sometimes a hurtful comment may not sound so bad when repeated to mom at home. Be sensitive to this by being careful not to diminish its hurtful nature.

Taste and smell children will get upset even if it's another child being bullied. They are apt to be overly empathetic, and often put themselves at the mercy of nastiness in an effort to help someone else. They will feel sorry for the child being bullied and also for the bully, who in their mind must be unhappy. "I play with her because she's nasty and nobody else will play with her" is often something a taste and smell child will say at home, forgetting that they themselves need to be treated well too. Make sure to instill the concept of empathy being different from self-sacrifice, and encourage them to have friends they like and who like them, as well as giving them the tools to know how to handle nastiness in the playground.

Bullying at school starts earlier than we may think, so it's important to keep your eye on your children for signs of both bullying and being bullied. Teach them what to do when they feel confronted or bullied and always leave the door open for them to come to you in confidence for supportive advice.

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